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I just found a contest in Poets and Writers journal for book excerpts. Perfect. Only 5,000 words, so I went frantic patching together my most coherent excerpts for review. And editing: Slash, burn, rewrite, second-guessing and doubts. Shoring up the holes in the novel where mediocrity set in. But I am excited. Looking forward to more editing. Tightening. Making it sing.

I want to get a copy of Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God for inspiration, but I am afraid that if I reread it I will never write another word again. Her writing ,aaaah, so sublime, fresh, outside the box. It is poetry and dance without the missteps.

Sorting out clothes today to give away in preparation for the move. Waiting for Salvation Army to call me back to schedule a pick up. I didn't know they could do that. Just not answer and say, I'll get back to you. Are people donating so much that you have to wait in line? Maybe with the recession people are downsizing, or even just getting put out.

Also, I must say, gospel music. Yes, gospel music is what I need right now. I am not religious at all, but the timber and tone of this music heals and strengthens. It just does. If I can get my mind off the notion of a lone Father creating the world without the Mother, (not to mention all the killing), and not get too cerebral on it, it touches me in that abandoned place. It awakens love without the hurt.

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Randy Mack lived on a cliff that overhung the lip of Pine Street where ol’ Spivey’s Barber Shop used to be. He lived on a dream at the corner of Pine and the local fish fry where Arney, the town crazy, stood with a sign “Walk, don’t walk. It’s up to you.“ The carpet beneath Randy Mack’s feet were the impossible words that he lived by, his self-delusions, and he was headed for a fall.

He was cool as a lick of ice and rattled like a viper. His wily words drove the women wild. Free from the encumbrances of employment, he lived on the weakness of women who depended on men for their beauty.

August 2010

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